Relationship Values Assessment

This self-assessment can serve as a useful tool for aligning your current relationships with your values or for thinking about the qualities you’d like to foster in future relationships.

Purpose: This assessment is designed to help individuals explore and evaluate their values and priorities when it comes to relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. Understanding your relationship values can guide you in building healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Instructions:

• Read each statement carefully.

• For each statement, rate how strongly you agree or disagree on a scale from 1 (Strongly Disagree) to 5 (Strongly Agree).

• There are no right or wrong answers; this is a personal reflection tool.

Section 1: Communication

1. I believe open and honest communication is key to a strong relationship.1 2 3 4 5

2. I value listening as much as I value speaking in conversations.1 2 3 4 5

3. In difficult situations, I prefer to talk things through rather than avoid conflict.1 2 3 4 5

4. I expect my partner or close friends to express their feelings openly.1 2 3 4 5

Section 2: Trust and Loyalty

5. Trust is the foundation of any meaningful relationship.1 2 3 4 5

6. I am comfortable being vulnerable and sharing personal thoughts with people I trust.1 2 3 4 5

7. I expect loyalty and commitment in my relationships, and I offer the same in return.1 2 3 4 5

8. Cheating or dishonesty would be a deal-breaker for me in a relationship.1 2 3 4 5

Section 3: Support and Understanding

9. I feel most connected to others when they show empathy and understanding for my challenges.1 2 3 4 5

10. I value relationships where both people support each other’s goals and dreams.1 2 3 4 5

11. I want to feel like I’m someone’s priority, not just an option.1 2 3 4 5

12. I appreciate when people are patient with me, especially when I’m going through tough times.1 2 3 4 5

Section 4: Independence and Personal Growth

13. I value my independence and believe in maintaining a healthy balance between connection and personal space.1 2 3 4 5

14. Personal growth and self-development are important to me, even when I'm in a relationship.1 2 3 4 5

15. I encourage my friends or partner to pursue their own passions and personal growth.1 2 3 4 5

16. I believe it’s important to have time alone to recharge, even in close relationships.1 2 3 4 5

Section 5: Respect and Equality

17. I believe in treating all people with respect, regardless of their background or differences.1 2 3 4 5

18. I expect equality in relationships, where both individuals' needs and opinions are valued.1 2 3 4 5

19. Mutual respect is non-negotiable for me in all relationships.1 2 3 4 5

20. I enjoy relationships where both people share responsibilities and make decisions together.1 2 3 4 5

Section 6: Fun and Enjoyment

21. I believe having fun and enjoying life together is an important part of any relationship.1 2 3 4 5

22. I value spontaneity and adventure in my relationships.1 2 3 4 5

23. Laughter and shared enjoyment help strengthen the bond between people.1 2 3 4 5

24. I appreciate relationships where there is room for playfulness and lightheartedness.1 2 3 4 5

Section 7: Conflict Resolution and Problem-Solving

25. I believe in resolving conflicts in a calm and respectful manner, even when emotions are high.1 2 3 4 5

26. In relationships, I prefer to work through problems collaboratively, rather than letting them fester.1 2 3 4 5

27. It’s important to me that both parties in a conflict feel heard and understood.1 2 3 4 5

28. I can forgive mistakes if there is a genuine effort to make things right.1 2 3 4 5

Section 8: Intimacy and Connection

29. I value emotional intimacy just as much as physical intimacy in a relationship.1 2 3 4 5

30. I believe that vulnerability can deepen the connection between people.1 2 3 4 5

31. I appreciate when people express affection and care in ways that feel genuine.1 2 3 4 5

32. It’s important for me to feel deeply connected and understood by my close relationships.1 2 3 4 5

Section 9: Expectations and Boundaries

33. I have clear boundaries in my relationships, and I expect others to respect them.1 2 3 4 5

34. I believe that setting boundaries is an essential part of maintaining healthy relationships.1 2 3 4 5

35. I feel comfortable discussing my needs and expectations in relationships.1 2 3 4 5

36. I respect the boundaries of others, even if they differ from my own.1 2 3 4 5

Scoring:

• Add up your scores for each section (1-5). The total for each section will give you an idea of how important that particular value is to you in your relationships.

• Interpretation:

  • 24-30 points: Very important to you in relationships.

  • 16-23 points: Moderately important to you.

  • 8-15 points: Less important to you, but still somewhat valued.

  • 1-7 points: Not a significant value to you in relationships.

Reflection:

• Which section(s) did you score the highest on? What do these values indicate about your priorities in relationships?

• Were there any sections where your scores were lower? What might that tell you about areas for potential growth or areas where you are more flexible?

• How do these values align with the relationships in your life? Are there any patterns that reflect the type of relationships you currently have or want to build in the future?