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9 Reasons Why You May Be Afraid Of A Committed Relationship?

Aug 4, 2024

2 min read

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Fearing a relationship can stem from a variety of reasons, often tied to personal experiences, beliefs, and emotional states. Here are some common factors that might contribute to a fear of entering a relationship:


  1. Past Experiences: If you've experienced heartbreak, betrayal, or toxic relationships in the past, you may fear repeating those painful experiences. My best advice for this is to heal from past trauma before entering a relationship. Do the inner work such as self reflecting, seek professional advice, and take accountability for what you may have done wrong.

  2. Fear of Vulnerability: Being in a relationship requires opening up and being vulnerable. For some, this can be intimidating, especially if they're not comfortable sharing their true selves.

  3. Fear of Rejection or Abandonment: The possibility of being rejected or abandoned can be a significant fear, especially if you've faced similar situations before.

  4. Fear of Losing Independence: Some people worry that being in a relationship might limit their freedom or require them to compromise on their own goals and desires.

  5. Unresolved Emotional Issues: Unresolved issues, such as low self-esteem or unresolved trauma, can create barriers to forming healthy relationships.

  6. Pressure and Expectations: The pressure to meet societal or familial expectations regarding relationships can create anxiety and fear.

  7. Fear of the Unknown: The uncertainty of what a new relationship might bring can be daunting. Fear of change and the unknown can prevent someone from fully embracing a relationship.

  8. Self-Doubt: Feeling unsure about your worth or whether you're capable of maintaining a healthy relationship can create fear.

  9. Attachment Styles: An individual's attachment style, often formed in childhood, can influence how they approach relationships. For example, an avoidant attachment style may lead to a fear of intimacy. And an anxious attachment style may lead to co-dependency.


Reflecting on these potential reasons and understanding your feelings can be helpful. Therapy or talking to a trusted friend or mentor might also provide insight and support in addressing and overcoming these fears. Realize that it doesn't matter what type of relationship or the time invested, there is always a certain level of risk we take when we open ourselves to others. You have to be bold, brave, and vulnerable enough to dive in and take the risk, if you are trying to find love; however, only take this risk, if and only if, the person is worth it. Time will reveal all things. The most useful advice that I can share with you, is to TAKE IT SLOW, regardless of what the relationship looks like in the beginning. Spend this time on getting to know the person and becoming a friend first. There is no need to rush the process.

Aug 4, 2024

2 min read

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